Thirty three

Maybe its turning thirty three, or maybe its having lived between Mexico City and the Bay Area for nearly a year and a half now. My own website never before appealed to me--posting my ramblings for all the world to see--too strange. But lately I've read things in people's online journals that make me think, laugh, and shake my head so vigorously...... For some reason I find myself here, shyly naming a website, choosing a template, posting my first rambling.... Its so easy, I had no idea one could create an on line journal or communication thread without having to devote hours.

The specter of self indulgence is what gives me pause here--though I enjoy other people's thoughts and rarely think of self indulgence when I read them. Curiosity is what nudges me along. Perhaps this will prove a space in which I say things that might matter to someone. Perhaps I might learn more about what the thing I call self indulgence means.

At first I wrote Audre's full quote as the heading for this webpage, but seeing those words in first person below my name was far too humbling--I can not fill the shoes they would have me stand in. When I read or hear those words, it is from the person she was, and they are my inspiration, they call me to something that as of yet I am far from: "When I dare to be powerful--to use my strength in the service of my vision, it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid."

...and for now, the goal is for much more to become less and less important: whether I am afraid, what others think of me when I'm doing my best, what I know and need to prove to you, whether I win, whether I convince you.......all of these less and less important so I have time and energy to do and say more of what matters more and more.